Friday, May 27, 2011

In spite of it All

Every morning I get up, get my daughter Hallie together, wash her face brush her teeth, get her dressed, comb her hair, and make sure she eats breakfast. Get myself together, and off with our day. It's not always in that order, but some how we get it done. Wednesday we were leaving home, rushing I should say, we get on the elevator,  I have my purse in one hand, my bag of "things" in the other hand, Hallie right by me, and I had just enough time to take a deep breath on the ride down from the 9th floor to the 3rd. We stopped on the 6th floor for someone to get on, the lady steps in and smiles. I smile back, with that uncomfortable elevator smile! Before we get to the 3rd floor, she says, "Busy morning"? I replied yes. She says, " I don't have kids but my girlfriends do, and they always seem to be rushing or busy, but some how they manage." I said that's an understatement.

I got in the car and on the drive I'm listening to 99.1 and the radio personality on there Ebonie is discussing how she was just recognized as one of the top 30 radio/television personalities and she shared the list with women of great influence. She begin crying, and she mentioned how grateful and humbled she was by the recognition. She talked about how hard she works, gives back to the community, allot of times with no recognition or acknowledgement, a simple thank you. The most powerful thing she said though, was, "As long as God sees my hard work, as long as he is pleased when I get to Heaven, then that is what matter's most."

I found myself in the car crying, fighting back the tears as I drove my daughter to school. Reflecting on the many things I juggle and struggle with, being a mother, career women, entrepreneur, and ministry. Wondering if anyone sees or even knows how hard it is, the days when I want to scream, give up, or throw in the towel. But I am reminded of 2 Timothy v:3 as I paraphrase it says, "I thank God whom I serve as my forefathers did with a clear conscience. Timothy who was in jail at the time, was basically saying, I've been through allot, but I have no regrets and I would do it all over again.

When I think of the things I've been through, the days when I  simply didn't want to do the routine, this passage always pops into my mind. Because surely if Timothy who was in jail at the time could still give God the praise in spite of what his circumstances were, surely I can do the same. Daily I remind myself that God has not forgotten about me, that he sees all and knows all, and my work is not in vein. He is a mind regulator, a heart fixer, and he'll give you peace that won't go to pieces. I love him so much. Yes, it gets hard, but I continue to press, I continue to fight the fight of faith, pray without ceasing, and serve, because it's not over until I win!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Makeover

God I want to be made over,  made into "Me", not the person society says I am supposed to be. I want my name to be Victory, I want to live on top of the world. Help me to be bold & courageous, not just some little girl. Take me from thinking low and put me high, I want to fly above the sky. God, I am a blank canvas, ready to be filled, with the dreams you desire for me to fulfill. I am tired of saying no, when you have already said yes, I want to go beyond what I perceive to be the best. Yes I am ready for construction, I want to made, no more living in my yesterday. I want to be confident and triumphant. God I want to be made over, made into "Me", the person I was born to be. No more being apart of the crowd, it's time for me to live out loud. To stand out, and not just walk amongst the crowd. I am going through a metamorphosis, change is my middle name, I am no longer sitting out of the game. Move out of my way, I am living and  striving for the day, when I cross the finish line, no more wasting time. God make me over, made into "Me", I want to leave behind my history. Make me over, make me right, move me pass what's in my sight. My Makeover is my Legacy, and who God says I will be!


Love....

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Lipstick Check!

So I'm not a person who carries around my bag of cosmetics: my powder, lipgloss, and those things that are supposed to accessorize my beauty, but I do love my lipstick. Raisin is the color to be exact, and when I put it on I feel complete, like I'm ready to go out and take over the world. It truly is my favorite. I've tried other things, but it just doesn't feel right, it's not Raisin. When I run out, it's like panic mode, I'm literally scrapping the inside of the tube to get it out. It's almost like, how did this happen? How did I run out? Did I not notice this?!?! Ring the alarm Raisin is gone. What's funny is, isn't that how we do God...I mean he's not lipstick by far, but we wait until we are in panic mode, literally empty, until we notice we've run out of God. Didn't say good morning to him. I didn't thank him for waking me up. I didn't praise him, or tell him how much he means to me, but then it became a 911 emergency, I was empty, I had let HIM run out of my life. See he really is my favorite, the best I could ever have, and when I have him in my life; not scrapping him out when I'm empty...I can take over the world, I can do anything, go anywhere, accomplish every goal, I am complete! Lipstick Check! God Check!

Love....

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Thank you

As the year comes to an end, and we embark on 2011, I am led to think about everything that I have been through this year. The joy, the pain, every good day; every bad day. The days that were filled with happiness, as well as the days that were filled with sorrow. And all I can say is Thank you...If  you look back over the year,  and you think about every trial, tribulation, and setback, it brought you to the point you are right now. I say thank you for the rough times, thank you for the good times. The tears, and the fears. Thank you for tests, the stress, the frustration. Thank you for the transition, and the hurt, what I thought was lost, and what I found. Thank you for the change, for stripping me, for molding me, for breaking me. Thank you for the miss understandings, the arguments, the lying and back-biting. Thank you for talking about me. Thank you for my faith, for grace, for mercy. For love, unconditional love, forgiveness, and patience. Thank you for choosing me to go through, and for making me mature into the women you needed me to be. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. See everything you went through this year may have seemed bad, like there was no way out, or all hope was lost, but God had a plan, the good news is, he always did!

Love....