I debated writing about this, didn't want to share my story, but God said this one was going to help somebody. It's not about me anymore but to start the process of healing and sharing my testimony. My past few entries have been about living, speaking out loud, claiming your destiny. Honestly, I have not wrote these things to encourage the viewers that read my blog, but to honestly encourage myself. For the past few years I have been the walking dead. I have had moments of joy, moments of peace, but I have not had the Joy of the Lord. I have been living for others, putting myself on the back burner, my dreams, aspirations.
I have allowed fear to be my guide, to be the captain of my ship instead of God. The one who wakes me up every morning, the one who loves me unconditionally, and has continued to carry me even when I couldn't carry myself. He has been my protector, the King in my life. But I hid his voice, I pushed his love aside and slowly died. You see when you experience true pain, true disappointment, you tend to cover up, not wanting to expose yourself. You become a chameleon, you just want to blend in. Standing out means someone may notice you, notice your hurt, shame and pain. If you know anything about spiritual warfare, fear is surely a tactic of the enemy, and if he can keep you in fear he can keep you in hiding, in captivity. You become easy prey.
Today I got up at 4:45am, and I went to the gym. I did some leg lifts and then I walked over to another machine, and I heard God say you need to run. So I immediately left the gym, walked through the gates of my complex, and I ran, sprinting. God said it's time to run to your future, you have went backwards long enough. You've lived in fear far to long. Enough is Enough. This run represents everything you've been through, and as your running things are dropping off, the wind that is flowing on you right now is my grace, my favor and when those things are active confusion can not stay, deadness has to flee, and life has to enter.
God said I am breathing new life into you so that you can run the next leg of this race. You will win. You will be triumphant, don't be scared. Trust in me, in my word, I will not fail you. I'm crying as I type this because this has held my heart in captivity. He said there is to much that I have planned for you, and I need you to be strong, to be resilient. I can still use you; despite the heartache, despite the pain, I still have a plan for you and its working out for your good. You will make it, you shall live and not die. This time you will past the test. Say good bye to the dead, and hello to life. The bible says I come that you might have life, and have it more abundantly~John 10:10~
Sometimes letting go is one of the hardest things to do, but I believe we limit God when we do that. We give more control to our situation than to him..I pray out of my obedience that someone is blessed beyond measure by this. I speak life into
you right now, you shall live!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please Click on the below link, this song by Marvin Sapp, has truly been a blessing to me:
My Testimony
Joy & Love
Chaira
